Thinking about Children

The feelings of a child; how a child sees himself perceived in relation to siblings, how he or she sees himself in relation to his or her peers, is how he or she is going to value him or her self in life. So if a parent places value on a child who has been born with life threatening defects, and once that child is through those crises, still puts that child’s welfare over that of his or her siblings, those other children are going to see themselves as lesser beings than this child who is esteemed over the rest. This is only one example.

A mother has lots of problems in childbirth; the labor is two days or more. The child is born less perfect, and cannot develop very fast due to being born less than perfect. It is in the 1940s and diagnoses are less than perfect, so the child never gets help for whatever the problem is. Then five years later, another one is born; a perfect child with blond hair and blue eyes. Remember, it is the 1940s, and the Nazis are putting value on blond hair and blue eyes. What is going to happen to the child who was born less than perfect with brown hair and brown eyes. This is another example.

Let’s say these kids g row up and the one who was born less than perfect, and the one who is perceived as lesser than the one whose life was in danger, go through things which simply make things worse. They go through stages of bad habits, stages of loneliness, stages of resentment. They go through stages of being perceived by others as if they were lesser beings because of the way they are perceiving themselves. This may result in bad relationship choices. This may result in behavior issues. This may result in vandalism or other violent acting out.

The following is a parable from the Bible. So far in the story, a man's son had done some really bad things; he had squandered all his dad's money, he had come into the face of poverty, and he had come back, begging his dad for forgiveness, and his dad had granted it, and had ordered a celebration for his son had returned to him. We come in to see what happened.

Luk 15:25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musicand dancing.

Luk 15:26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

Luk 15:27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

Luk 15:28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and entreated him.

Luk 15:29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

Luk 15:30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

Luk 15:31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

Luk 15:32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, andis alive again; and was lost, and is found.

Can we see how this other son might feel today? The Bible does not say that the father was favoring one son over the other. In fact, the father responds that this son is ever with him and all that he has is his. So the father is saying that there are no favorites here. Today, we should check ourselves to see if in some way we have favored one child over the other, maybe for a reason which we think is valid; for we may have had pain in bearing one of them, or problems keeping one of them well. Do we tend to place blame where it doesn’t belong? Do we tend to neglect situations where we feel we have no control?

I wrote this today, because God put it in my heart to write it, and disseminate it to as many as I could. May God place this information into your hearts to do the same.